Why Stay Single? part 1

“I am single by choice but I fully subscribe to the family ideals and I am comfortable that way,” Njoroge responded. “There is nothing sinister with that and I am sure this committee has done its due diligence on what sort of a person I am” he added

CBK governor Patrick Njoroge baffled some members of parliament, who questioned him about his personal life. This answer came at a time when I thot being single is a demon in my life that needed to be cast out in Jesus name.

Being used to senior government officials leading lavish lifestyles with a lot of illegal wives, this guy inspired me by being different. At the age of 54 and earning an average of Sh3 million a month and still affords to be single.

Njoroge reminded me of our generation which one my friends refers as generation Y as the analogue call it digital. In this generation even love has being digitalised. The age of falling in love has being reduced to as early as 11. Few weeks ago, we saw not only old but also mature men and women in a panel discussing whether to introduce condoms and sex education in primary schools. Where are we heading?

Actually we are not heading since we are already there, where in our generation, life is all about YOLO (You Only Live Once), but I think it should mean You Only Love Once, because the rest is Oscar award acting. People have become hypocrites as some practice the soap operas taught romantic techniques. Blame even those soap operas for those primary school relationships. Who said practice makes perfect? And the other one who said “The early bird catches the worm?”

Njoroge is 54 and single but here we have an early bird which has nothing. Not even a nest, it sleeps in its parent house. This early bird is unemployed and the biggest jobs it has is chasing love. It is penniless and no salary at all because it is uneducated. Despite it being so uneducated it has accumulated a lot of knowledge and experience on how to date more than one partner per week. The early bird flies to a beautiful flower which has nectar and after suckling the sweetness it flies to the next flower. The early bird is this new generation of youngsters who are clearly lost.

We are so determined to get in relationship and earn the rights to brag with our baes, babes, sweeties, honey, HR, MCA, or any other sweet name we use. You may think we are in certain business deals because we are always busy on our phones calling and texting our lovers just to tell them sweet nothings and keep them updated. You can only show true love by being instantly available to your loved one, not physically but online.Black-Romantic-Couple-650x590

Nowadays a delay of more than a few minutes in responding to a WhatsApp message means the boy/girl no longer loves the other. We have incorporated the new social media platforms to treat them as our profile pictures for days, just to give them this good feeling and send a clear warning that this is a restricted area for hunters and gatherers of love #TeamMafisi

Dates, retreats, dinners, lunches, walks, outings are always on the top of our diaries. We even use reminders not to forget any activity in our romantic list. We even rush to introduce them to our families, friends and the church. We open doors, pull chairs, buy roses and chocolates for them, not mentioning with our parents money and HELB loans for those in Universities. We dress to persuade, seduce or even to maintain our sweethearts. Some even go to an extent of Okoa Jahazi to text and call their loved ones. Is this a liability?

“Will you marry me?” proposes the broke kid living in his parents’ house. “Our kids will go to that school” together they dream. “Is Mum Ok?” they call to ask how your mother is. “Meet my sweetheart who is the most amazing woman in the world” introductions are made with heads raised high as their faces express 5 seconds of fame.

Being single looks like a crime in this generation. The single men and women in this society have no peace. Every corner you turn into, you are reminded of your status.

Sms the word LOVE to 2929 and meet your partner- the adverts states.

Please mention your status as you introduce yourself- Programmers lay down the rules as if they have partners in store for you.

Has the lord spoken? – Brethren ask.

Panda Mbegu na utapata bibi! Pastors say.

By the end of this year you will have a partner- Prophesises indicate.

Why are you still single at this age? Curious society asks, your peers are happily dating, Are you gay or impotent? They conclude with a rhetoric question.

Are you single? The first question a new friend asks.

Enter your relationship status! Facebook and other platforms ask.

Love is beautiful! Counsellors say.

You are so beautiful/handsome to be single, crushes have their say.

Can I hook you up with one of my friends, the concerned request to assist you cross the bridge.

“I am single and am looking for a partner” they call to media stations.

Make a mistake and get into one out of this out of pressure. It will look good at first but when things go wrong as they always do, hearts are broken and some crushed. The victim’s status on Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp start reading; “Single and satisfied, Single and Lonely, Heartbroken beyond repair, it’s so complicated, and Trust no one.

Insults catalyse the reaction.. Men are dogs (remember your father is a man before you insult us), Men are liars, Enda Kabisa! Who the hell cares? She was just a…… *that word that sounds like a whole (my autocorrect can’t let it pass).

Sisters in church at this moments agree to the fact that there is no man like Jesus. Others start saying “I am now concentrating on my life” what were you concentrating on earlier? I will not get in a relationship again– promises are made as those who don’t know how to make some say “I am taking time to heal”. At critical crushed stages with the thumb and pointing finger locked together and the hand waived sideways as they go like “I am good without you. You are not my oxygen, I won’t die if you go. By the way, you are another mistake in my life.” We console ourselves by saying that was a frog, and our loved ones are coming.images

The religious ones; we console ourselves by indicating that it was not the plan of God as we quote Jeremiah 29:11 that the Lord has great plans over our lives, Plans not to harm us but to make us prosper. As we conclude and say Plans to give me hope and future! Can somebody say Amen?

I always wonder, don’t we have any other business than falling in love? Could all this drama be avoided if we stayed away from love and stayed single? Where did we go wrong? Everywhere it is all about love. Why not stay single?

Join me in Part 2 of Why Stay Single? In the meantime have your say……..

Former 20 comments available at https://danmuniu.wordpress.com/why-stay-single-part-1/

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