#TeamMafisi

Last year somebody called me a ‘saved fisi’ after noticing I was becoming an epitome of praise in his baibes mouth. As if that was not enough, last month some people nicknamed me ‘Mr. Chair’ not of anything honorable but of Team Mafisi.

The awkward title happened after I and a certain brother fitted so well into the Mafisi characters traits in a certain skit. I take this opportunity to salute my brother for being branded the Sec Gen of the team. These weird titles led me to deeper research of these #TeamMafisi which am now said to lead.

So let’s hit the ground running and ask ourselves: What is Team mafisi? Who the hell founded Team Mafisi? Who are the members of Team Mafisi? What qualifies one to be a Fisi? Who is their leader? *since am not the one* And what is your take about Team Mafisi?

You may have come across Team Mafisi through social media especially twitter with the hashtag #TeamMafisi or #KTM. Last month they made a trend of the Prezzo-Betty Kyallo fiasco where Prezzo was officially welcomed to the Sacco. Last week they flooded social media with congratulation messages to the alleged KU Mollis. KU Mollis reminded me of that audio of ‘salenda manenos’ which went viral last year and saw Mollis become the Chairman of Mafisi Sacco by default.

Mafisi Sacco have also strengthened their border relations after Eritrean government made a national decree for polygamous marriage. Team Mafisi engage in this diplomatic mission and sent some of its members to Eritrea to fisi some brides there. Last year, Pastor Kanyari had rough with the Mafisi Sacco after his exposee by a local investigative journalist. Mafisi Sacco requested him to take the office of Mafisi chaplaincy and offer prayers to Mafisi as they carry out their daily activities. His assistant pastor was to be Bro Ocholla.

Foundation of Team Mafisi

Two years ago, somewhere in Nairobi a team dubbed ‘Team Mafisi’ was founded. It all started as a joke at a comedy show and before we knew it, it translated to reality. The team has now grown and even formed a Sacco dubbed “Mafisi Sacco” which I guess loans hunting advise and devices to its esteemed members*Read:Mafisi

All began when hunting women became a sport and having sex became both a game and an achievement. There was a growing need for a team to play the game and make the sport enjoyable. And thus Team Mafisi was founded and since then curious members from all corners of this nation have joined this lustful adventure.

Traits of Mafisi

Team Mafisi members are filled with lust and unquenchable thirst for ladies. They burn with passion to pursue beautiful women and bed them by all means possible. Being a member of the team involves flirting with the ladies endlessly ‘hunting all the time’. These members exist both online and in reality.

Online Team Mafisi are known to subscribe to free texts and buy bundles mwitu which they use as transport fee to their online hunting grounds. They spend hours especially on Facebook and Instagram zooming in women, posting naughty comments on those photos and taking a step of faith by inboxing the prey. Never ever underestimate them when they make an arrival to your inbox, because they are gurus in the art of chatting and sex texting.

Online Team Mafisi are said to be cowards because they hide behind phone numbers and keyboards to pursue women but just like a wild hyena they are cowards but very dangerous. Just like the old tale goes, a hyena will persistently follow a man swinging a hand expecting it to fall but when it realizes the hand is taking long to fall, the hyena will bites it off.

The real life Team Mafisi on the other hand are very dangerous, armed to teeth with a lot of lies looking for prey to tear apart and devour. They spend a lot of their time staring and ogling at women. They are masters in describing a lady- to them ladies body parts are not just body parts but they come in different shapes, colors, sizes and angles. For instance you will hear them compare and contrast Adhiambo and Wairimu’s behinds, the former will be said to be mountainous while the latter will be said to be flat as a plain.

Team Mafisi are animalistic and beastly aggressive in pursuing women and getting sex. They chips funga girls and snatch other people wives. They feast on anything even leftovers without a mere consideration of age. They are void of respect and even a ‘beautiful grandmother’ is a dish.

They also spend most of their time and money trying to impress women instead of focusing on building their character that will draw women to them. Woe unto you if these toe nails of saitan are your friends or roommates, they will snatch your lady from you and narrate the story thereafter.

Team mafisi just like any other hyena are excessively greedy, gluttonous and opportunistic who turn every situation to chance of hunting. It so sad that we got brothers in church who are so busy chasing the devil yet they can’t control their libido and lust. They will share a Bible in Church with a sister just to get into her pants. ‘There is none like you’ worship song will turn to a punchline. ‘Tell your neighbor’ Pastor’s phrase will be opening door to fashioning hunting arrows towards the prey.

MY TAKE

Although it started as a joke, Mafisi Sacco has over time grown into a big movement with a lot of power and influence to the young men. Many young men are now overworking in flirting just to be associated with this team. Being a fisi has been made to look so cool and once a young man is associated with the team, his ego rises.

Young man, I know you want fame and to be at the top of the game but remember you were not born to impress women neither sleep with them. Life is more beautiful than just living for the next orgasm. My friend, a man is more than a mere extension of his genitals.

If you are still chasing women around, you are a boy because all you care is a woman who is challenge to get. You are a boy, if you are spending precious time of your life negotiating for sex; and when you succeed, you feel accomplished. You are a boy, if all you want is to prove you are capable of breaking through any woman. Relationship are investments not hobbies, so boy… you gotta grow up and be a gentleman.

A gentleman, who you should strive to be, attracts the attention of many but only has eyes for his own lady. When a gentleman loves, he sets his heart on that lady and everyone else who wants him becomes irreverent. Strive to be the man you would want your daughter to be with, logically speaking you don’t want an AI service type of a boy for your daughter. Young man, prove wrong these women who say all men are the same by being different.

Speaking from a Christian point of view, the devil has made sin to look so cool and fun. And that what is happening in Team Mafisi. So my brothers Tuepuke Team Mafisi.

A boy speaks, a gentleman acts.

Since you want to prove you are a man, act and leave Team Mafisi. That a boy’s thing not a gentleman’s stuff!

Gentlemen, let’s go change the world!!